My New Hat
So, I spent Saturday night on Whidbey Island, and after about 10 minutes of walking around the town of Langley, had seen every last burl and blown glass knick-knack I ever needed to see again. OR SO I THOUGHT! Right next door to the Inn was a store called (with perfect hippie tonality) "Music For The Eyes." Its wares consisted largely of rugs from Central Asia, but there was also a bunch of other stuff, including a ten foot tall throne made entirely of hand carved wood. Ugly? Yes, abominable! But still neat.
Just as I was about to leave so I could get slathered in hot oil and steaming towels for an hour while a stranger caressed my feet, hands, and scalp, I saw the best hat ever, which, as it turns out, was made from the wool of an unborn lamb in Turkmenistan, which, as it turns out, is a totes fashionable textile these days. It's so fashionable, in fact, that it has a special name, Astrakhan. It's two-tone, brown with blonde bits, and very curly, JUST LIKE MY HAIR! A bargain at $65. Sold, American!
The sad part is that the lining had been cut out, leaving some loose threads in need of sewing, so the magnificent hat (which the shopkeeper assured me is worn come rain or shine by his Turkmen associates) is now in the care of the louche gay Asian (if not, indeed, the louche gaysian) drycleaner whose work is typically excellent, but whose attitude, particularly with regard to the hat, I sometimes find troubling. I will be sad if something happens to the hat. I guess I'll find out Thursday.
Until then, here is a picture, bad of me, good of the hat:
Just as I was about to leave so I could get slathered in hot oil and steaming towels for an hour while a stranger caressed my feet, hands, and scalp, I saw the best hat ever, which, as it turns out, was made from the wool of an unborn lamb in Turkmenistan, which, as it turns out, is a totes fashionable textile these days. It's so fashionable, in fact, that it has a special name, Astrakhan. It's two-tone, brown with blonde bits, and very curly, JUST LIKE MY HAIR! A bargain at $65. Sold, American!
The sad part is that the lining had been cut out, leaving some loose threads in need of sewing, so the magnificent hat (which the shopkeeper assured me is worn come rain or shine by his Turkmen associates) is now in the care of the louche gay Asian (if not, indeed, the louche gaysian) drycleaner whose work is typically excellent, but whose attitude, particularly with regard to the hat, I sometimes find troubling. I will be sad if something happens to the hat. I guess I'll find out Thursday.
Until then, here is a picture, bad of me, good of the hat:
posted by Sean Nelson at 12:31 PM
12 Comments:
i guess i should mention that the unborn lamb's mother was slaughtered to make mutton stew for the village, not just for her fetus's coat. that was just a bonus.
p.s.
whatta country!
HAT!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Good thing it doesn't have a tail hanging from the back...
Despite the temptation to make several sheep-based puns, it's a sweet hat.
It's a great hat, to be sure...but when you paid the $65 dollars for it, did they also make you give them your eyes?
Because that is very expensive.
Hmm...just like your hair, you say? Have you considered a money making scheme of shearing yourself and passing it off as Astrakhan? At $65/hat, this could be worthwhile.
it seems like a quirky spin off of those fuzzy russian hats....(insert drunken prisyadka dance here)...but OH so much better :)
if i saw that hat in a store i would probably think it was hideous. yet you manage to pull it off. because it replaces your hair.
*Whistle* that is one impressive hat! You must be like 7 feet tall when wearing it!
Ha! Interestingly enough (or, maybe not), my great grandfather built Langley. His house is still on the beach, next to the Marina. :)
Okay, now, look. I'm commenting again, in case you're like, "I will never again visit the blog of that whore who seemed to diss my hat." So you may get this message two ways.
The hat is worth $65 easily. I wouldn't hesitate to buy it, and I am carrying my own version of an unborn lamb. But in the photo, you have glasses but no eyes. And I thought that the man may have asked you for your eyes in addition to the $65, and this would have been too steep. But as I said elsewhere, if you have your hat and your eyes, you're a wealthy man.
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